Gay Clubbing Fridays

So, I had three midterms last week. I don't think I did exceedingly well on any of them, but I'm pretty sure I bombed one of them. Like literally, bomb. I was pretty sad about it and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself. I managed to cope through the promise of an exciting weekend. But this post isn't about my weekend, tomorrow's post will be about my weekend. This post is about my Friday night.

And how I went to Rage.

So for those of you who are unfamiliar with Rage, Yelp.com reviewers describe Rage as having "male (most likely straight) gogo dancers dancing around in their underwear" and as a " hot bed for all socal college gay and closet boys, girls, and their lovers (including their very creepy older lovers....)."

Basically, Rage is a gay club.

Now before you judge me, I must wholeheartedly assure you that I am not gay. I am a straight male. But after failing my midterm, I was definitely down to have some fun. I didn't really intend to go to a gay club, or did I know that I was going to one. So on Thursday or Friday, Stephanie texts me and asks me if I'm free on Friday, and I didn't really have anything planned so I told her I was free and that I'd be down to do something. My cell phone is pretty retarded and likes erasing my texts, so the conversation went something like this:

S: "Hey are you free to rage this Friday?" (Urban Dictionary defines rage as "[the act of partying] extremely hard: excessive drinking, taking of pills, boozing or any combination of the three)
W: "Yeah dude, I just failed a midterm. Definitely down to do something."

So, I was obviously misled and misguided. I was just under the impression that we were going to go to BrewCo or something. So on Friday night I was in the midst of watching the Laker game

and I was about to bail because I wanted to finish the game but Stephanie and Leila insisted that I go with them and that they'd wait for me. So after the Lakers blew their enormous lead, Leila came and picked me up and we started to drive towards West Hollywood. I didn't really know where we were going since they didn't say, all they said was that it was a "surprise".

I ended up at Rage.

So we go in, and I was pretty nervous. Nervous might be an understatement. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know who was gay. So we got there around 9:30PM, and the dance floor didn't open till 10:30PM or something. We got a couple drinks, and by the time the dance floor opened I downed some pretty strong drinks pretty quickly. By that time, I was feeling a bit more confident thanks to the alcohol, and thought "You know what, maybe this won't be too bad."

Seriously, I saw the weirdest stuff in there. There were scantily clad men in underwear dancing on the stage, and guys grinding on one another and making out in the corner. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a gaycist. I'm all for gay rights. But it just so weird to me and made me a bit uncomfortable because I was surrounded. I felt like fresh meat. There was this shirtless old Asian guy, kind of looked like this:

and he would pelvic thrust everywhere, and when he spotted his potential target he'd go behind them and pelvic thrust the crap out of them. So while we were dancing on the stage, I realized my buzz was starting to wear off. So as I was making my way towards the bar to get another drink, someone grabbed my butt and someone else grabbed my stomach.

Pretty weird stuff.

So after I got a drink, stayed outside for a bit with Stephanie, Leila, and a couple of Leila's VSU Modern friends. The buzz was definitely dying at that point, so I remember killing off my drink and headed back in. When I went back in, the Asian guy was on the stage and we were on the floor, and next thing I know someone's fondling my hair. I turn my head up, and the Asian guy's like pelvic thrusting the air behind me and rubbing my hair. Quickly bailed.

We went upstairs because it was less crowded, and I was just dancing with Stephanie and friends. Some girl comes up to me, taps my shoulder, and says "HEY, YOU'RE GAY RIGHT?" I told her I wasn't, and she said "OH, THAT'S A SHAME. I HAVE A FRIEND OVER THERE WHO THINKS YOU'RE REALLY CUTE, HE REALLY WANTED TO DANCE WITH YOU."

...Cool story, bro.

That happened a couple times throughout the night, but most of them were diverted towards Stephanie who deflected a couple gay on-comings.

The story must end here because I'm not sure who reads my blog, but there's a little more to tell about my night. If you're really curious as to what else happened, leave a comment here, on my Facebook, or contact me somehow and I'd be more than happy to tell you the rest of the story. Or you can grab lunch or dinner with me sometime. Like, on a Friday when you happen to be in Beverly Hills interning or something. No big.



-Wilson